The Pork Chop Prophecy

This next match is for the Hemos Pro Wrestling Championship, a gauntlet match. Introducing first, the challenger, Kale Solaris. [drum roll] [cheering] Let's burn it down. There, there, baby. It's okay. Mama's got you. [vomits] [gasps] Somebody get me a water. [screams] [body thuds] Oh, hell. I broke a heel. [foot thuds] Stay down, big man. [gasps] Ah, that tickled. Watch the ropes. Watch the ropes. [grunts] [slow motion grunts] [body thuds] [gasps] [grunts] [gasps] [body thuds] That all you got for me? [grunts] [body thuds] One, two, three. Send them all. Oh. [cheering] [panting] You got one more. One more what? [upbeat music] Oink oink. Ah! [slow motion screaming] Ah. [body thuds] Two little piggies? They're multiply pissing. Who's afraid of the big bad Atlas? [cheering] [pig grunting] The toe, not the toe. Oh, no, no. That's not the finish. I'm going to get fired for this. Ring the bell. [bell dings] And your new HW champion, El Cerdito. Winner, [panting] and new champion, El Cerdito. Suck on that. El Carajo. [cheering] Good job, little fella. [cheering] Tough break, losing half the audience. Bathroom line, apparently. Still more people watching me than buying your ice cream. What did you just say? [ice cream squelching]